Let It ALL Out's topics - tribe.net

better late than never...right?

2006-05-03T06:17:51Z

wow am i ever late or what...my apologies...i haven't been on tribe in quite a while and am just starting to catch up
glad to see that some of you were able to use this as a release
feel free to post here anytime, that's what it's all about
i'm plan on becoming more active again, so i'll be posting more from time to time
i'm hoping we can all build a safe place for people to express and recieve feedback

*love and peaceful bliss to your core*

posted in Let It ALL Out - 0 replies

My Office Manager is an idiot

2006-05-02T19:40:02Z

ARGH! I work for a spa - everyone thinks spas are such peaceful places to work. Not when you have an office staff of complete IDIOTS and F**KTARDS!

I have been working at this moderate sized facility for about a year. IN ALL that time, they have never seen me just sit up there on my ass bored to death all day waiting for a f**king appointment. When we are busy, I'm there working myself as hard as I can. When we are slow, they call me if they need me. That is the way it has been the WHOLE TIME I HAVE WORKED FOR THEM!!!!! Also, if I call them to say "I have a Dr.s appointment, please mark me off the schedule til 10 a.m." it means "I am unavailable until after 10 a.m." not "I will definitely be there by 10 a.m." and we have actually HAD THIS DISCUSSION MORE THAN ONCE WITH MORE THAN ONE EMPLOYEE, and those dumb assess STILL don't get it! So what do they do? Make an appointment for me at 2p.m. and not let me know. Then, they call me, only AFTER the client is at the front desk saying "Hey, it's after 2, when does my appointment start?" because they are too f***ing lame to have noticed that someone was there for an appointment with me and I WAS NOT EVEN THERE.

And you know what is just as stupid? When I'm there and they are call my cell phone looking for me, thinking I'm not there. Yeah. Too lazy to walk through the spa, to inobservant to know whether or not I've left the building through the only door we use, which is right in FRONT of them.

See what I'm saying? STUPID!

I am beyond irritated with these people, who are related to the owner and DON't do their jobs - which the owner has acknowledged . They are lazy and incompetant and never take responsibility for anything that is directly and completely their own fault. In our smallish city, we already, after one year, have a bad reputation because of the office staff. Not the service staff, who are all quite good at their jobs and, for the most part, friendly and personable. No...for the stupid, rude, condescending front desk assholes.

I don't want to leave, because the money is pretty good, but I have had to take the stance of "Just let it roll off of your back...don't sweat anything, just do your job to the best of your ability and let it go....you can't change it, the money is good, just close your eyes to the bullshit and go on." But Holy Sweet Singing Jesus! How much is a person supposed to take?

Why can't I just be independantly wealthy? Then I wouldn't have to interact with people who irritate me just to hear them speak. and NO!!! this is not an open invitation to be spammed by ads for "werk @ hom" or "Peeramid" schemes (spelling mistakes intentional to hopefully deter any random info gathering)

Okay. Now I think I can return to my daily activities without my head spinning. I'm glad this tribe is here. If it weren't, I was just about to create it myself.

Thanks

posted in Let It ALL Out - 0 replies

under the red light

2006-03-28T17:39:03Z

i want to hold out my hand
i want to help her off her knees
she crying "my baby"
but i dont kno her pain
she lying cold and wet on the ground
the red light on above her door
shes screaming
im dreaming
and i cant be torn away
how i wish i could be her hero
take away her pain
she cant hide from her exsisitance
she cries out "take the pain away"

posted in Let It ALL Out - 0 replies

Asking for simply answers...

2006-01-04T16:46:47Z

I don't know what it is, it might even be me, but recently when I've asked some of my co-workers a question they seem to think that I'm asking something completely different because they give me all kinds of information, but none of it is in reference to the question that I asked. And it's not like I've been asking difficult or involved questions, they've been simple and concise.

The most recent was a question to my "boss". I asked him if he had done anything in Layout 2 on an AutoCad drawing that he had been working on, and which he had me take over the work. He proceded to tell me what had been done to the drawing as a whole, not by him even, by another co-worker, but not about whether he had done anything in Layout 2. I stopped him as he was talking and told him I just needed to know if he had done anything in Layout 2, that was all I was asking and worryed about. He said no. That was simply enough.

Of course I don't believe him. And the when I asked the other guy about it he hadn't been in Layout 2 either. (Guy number two is our computer guru). The "boss" is not so great around AutoCad, hell, he's not so great around the office in general, and I think that he doesn't want to admit that he doesn't know what he's doing.

He wasn't always the "boss". He's now one of the very few, but very big, reasons why I'm not going to stick around for much longer.

Thanks for letting me vent! I feel a little bit better.

posted in Let It ALL Out - 0 replies

just some ramblings

2005-05-31T23:57:37Z

calling me.....following me....
dreaming in the void

twilight engulfs the most passionate mind
the power surrounding permeates time
as single thoughts becomes analogonous feeling
the small view of the floor hits the ceiling
the restrictions fall away as the typing considers
that it doesn't know what's next or who how or hither
what wisdom does flow or doesn't is the same
the thoughts of petroglyphic ideas or images fall away
because the idea of an idea is not much to say
the feeling of life is one and the same
the raw unfiltered energy is clearly absorbed
reaching forward all the time engaging into life
the focus of ones attitude shapes the path of strife
meowing along the twittlebees and wondering about the rain
into the mountain passing trees
the womb with severed name
reaching further into the lost world
that centuries are swallowing whole
the individuals that remember somehow
are preserving what we know
this knowledge passed by unknown hands has gotten to a point
where ideas and means and populace are hearing it all anyways

the organics and romantics, the shamanistic feelers
the religious idealogical internet concealers
the fortunate nobles learning fortune is not theirs
the crimson red showdown of fools and their heirs

the ramblings of a silly one who has nothing really to say
to let out the random ramblings becomes worthwhile today
in the sense of public forums there is some satisfaction there
of saying things in no order and regardless if anyone cares
the release of ideas and pressure that was just sitting moments ago
in realizing some of the things are really coming from nowhere at all
but just to express like talking needlessly since it's somethign i don't do
but as the time permits and the typing continues, my face would have gone blue

i love the ideas of man today and where we can go from here
the love the life the ethereal strife of where we sit with our mirror
people and places give way to faces as things materialize
the woke come out with bright wide eyes and pierce the veil untrue

it's nice to just let it all out.... =) next time ...less tired...more clarity.......either way it's therapeutic.........................................

posted in Let It ALL Out - 0 replies

the child

2005-05-26T21:07:24Z

darkness swallows me
my bodys dead and i cant seem to breathe
frozen in the emptiness
cant break away and im blinded by pain
im calling
praying
screaming
pleaing
for the pain that i cant feel
for the pain that is so real
cant break away and i am blinded by pain
she calls to me :the child
small and weak
scortched by the fire
the fires of sin
the fires of pain
suffocating in the fires of war
i call out to her;the child
separated by the seas of uncaring torment
i can not fly
i can not reach
i am blinded by the hate
the pain
the war
blinded by the tears
the sceams
the crys
she is gone;the child
now at peace amoungst the rubble
no pain
no fear
shes no longer blinded by the fire
she is free

posted in Let It ALL Out - 0 replies

Connect

2005-05-26T18:58:29Z

the energy flows between our eyes
I can feel it flowing
I can feel its power
so perfect, with love I devour
and I become you
and you become me
as one new complex being
we transcend all thought
left with sensation
and this intimate connection
still deep in a trance
we float up in the sky
as we ground back down, we open our eyes
I think to myself
is this too good to be true?
I let my mind go, all that's left is you...

what is to come?
what lies on the horizon,
beckoning, guiding, a step closer to my Great Work
my path, this journey, excitement breeds
there's a reason I'm here, writing this right now
there's never an end, just another 'wow'
laced with raw fury, I'm tempted to test
my world, my mind set, my limiting beliefs
so that I may continue, free and at peace
without attachment, there's no holding back
such freedom is scary, deeper than any act
I could ever conjure, or even imagine
It's beyond the mind, beyond patterns of though
it's limitless, boundless, it's free, it's deep
beyond these words the meaning creeps
across your skin, into your brain
this gnosis described as between sane and insane
Divine guidance, higher self integration, essence
with every experience there is a lesson
in Dark, in Light, in Chaos and Calm
tranquil but fluid, like a slow moving pond
it reaches inside, to the ends of the Earth
it's like I've been in tune since Birth...

..Love..

posted in Let It ALL Out - 0 replies

free me

2005-05-26T07:20:04Z

i touch the fire and it freezes me
i turn away and then im back
back to the pain, back to the darkness
i fight to escape the darkness
from the shadows you call to me
judgment day had come and gone
i cant escape, i fight to break away
i want the fire back
it may burn, the emptiness
but the cuts you carved arent deep
but what will scar,
the girl you slashed and marred
lost in my mind she cries
exhailing pain shes falling
deeper into this oblivion you called love
force her to stay
she breaks me down to pray
to free my chain bound hands
the shakles break the metal melts away
my fury burns red across your face
your worlds ingulfed in flames
i touch the fire and it parts for me
i look back your not ther
my bodys free i feel i have wings
and so i fly away

posted in Let It ALL Out - 1 reply

does anybody hear me?

2005-05-08T23:36:24Z

can anyone hear me? am i all alone? can i pull myself outt of this? well of course i can, there's no question. i'm not gonna die from a broken heart. but i feel like i will. i feel like walking into oncoming traffic would hurt less than this. *sigh* ....limbo. what can i do? wait? leave? either way it hurts too much. will anyone ever love me for who i kam i f i don't love myself 1st?
i guess that's all i got for now. i'm sure we've all been through this b4...i migh t not listen but i'd like to hear your take on how you got through this....

posted in Let It ALL Out - 1 reply

mindful eating...

2005-04-26T21:51:35Z

I think what's so valuable about mindful eating is that it teaches us to be fully present in the moment. Eating slowly to savor every bite and to fully appreciate each flavor. Food demonstrates the impermanence of things, so you have to fully appreciate it in the moment. It teaches us the lesson of letting go.

We only have what's in front of us while it's there and then it's gone...no one ever knows how long anything will be here...so we have to let go and we have to be completely present. Savor your time with what's in front of you and learn to recognize things for what they are in the moment because that's all you have.

posted in Let It ALL Out - 0 replies

mind babble...

2005-03-30T21:50:11Z

blah!!!! so what am i really trying to say, i don't even think i know. i just know that part of me wanted this to stay secret, whatever it is. part of me wanted no one who knew me personally to ever hear this ... "stuff".

i guess i'm struggling right now, i was on this energetic high. and now i feel like i'm crashing. i'm trying to stay up, but something is fighting me...it's probably me. i'm sure it's me. ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! really i just want to scream, and scream and scream until it goes away. i'm fighting not running away, i don't want to shut down. is that what i'm doing? what am i doing? am i perpetuating this?!? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need a release. but what kind? where? how? where are all my lessons and realizations now when i need them most? what the fuck am i saying?!?!? i just want to go back to that state of pure love that high where nothing could take me away from what i was trying to acomplish.

i know i'm wasting time. wasting it on feeling this way, wasting it on the computer, wasting my precious time! i'm laggin on the mudane tasks, faultering from my discipline, being to hard on myself, losing balance......HELP! STOP! THIS ISN"T HELPING ANYONE! ESPECIALLY ME! and i know what i'd be saying to someone who was telling me all this. yet somehow in the moment it's a lot harder. nothing significantly bad has happened to make me feel this way....nothing. and i've been able to apply my lessons in the face of negativity and tests and LIFE. but why? WHY?! is this so flippin' hard now? why now?!!!!? i don't get it! what is this nameless nemesis?!? who are you? and then i guess the question is what part of me is this? how do i console you? how do i make u understand i don't want to feel this way? how can i talk to you when you're hiding? COME OUT!!! identify yourself! are you doubt? are you jealousy? are you neglect? are you hurt? who the fuck are you?

to be continued...

posted in Let It ALL Out - 1 reply

life happens

2005-03-26T03:27:48Z

you can't change the fact that life is going to happen whether you want it to or not..."the only thing that doesn't change in this universe is change itself". And it's just the same with people, you can't change them no matter what...so let go. Because when you do let go all your expectations about them changing or the end result falls away. and so does the fear, worry and stress that goes along with it.

Probablly one of the hardest things for me to do is just LET GO. I wonder sometimes if this little girl inside holds onto the past and the future because that's all she had then and so she thinks that's all she has now. But those rules don't apply now...why won't she just let me take over. In our conversations together, especially recently, I believe I'm gaining her trust. She doesn't have to hide in her dream world in her imagination any longer and just because she lets go of that doesn't necessarily mean that she'll loose the ability to still dream vividly and use her wild imagination. A voice inside tells me to be patient and loving and pay attention to her needs like her father did so long ago. Nurture yourself, love yourself, listen to yourself, be that caring magical fun creature she always imagined would be there for her in her time of need...then...you'll see the difference.

posted in Let It ALL Out - 5 replies